“Times of India” is the most Tatti newspaper.


“A number of our loyal readers have criticized us for our front page headline on the verdict of the Allahabad High Court. (2 Parts To Hindus,1 Part To Muslims) … The headline in question was clinically accurate….” Here is  the entire maan mera ehsaan disclaimer. Tech Help.

Just to begin with I would like to quote a Haryanvi idiom, “Aandhe ne aandhaa nahi kaha karte!” You do not call a blind man blind. I would like to vociferously juxtapose it to, “Gay aadmi ko gaandoo nahi kehte!” Please note that both the idioms are as (or even more) “clinically accurate” as the headline observations by Times of India on 1st October, 2010. All they are capable of doing is inflame the hurt sentiments of the Andha / the Gandoo or someone else, too sheltered from everyday Hindi. (N.B. Asshole is a fine word, though. Even on the dinner table. So is “Oh Shit, Mummy! Aaj phir Arvi banayi hai! What the Fuck!”).

I have worked for this paper, though only as a lowly salesman, and know that for Readership figures (ABC figures when I was an employee) ; they shall stoop to any depth.

I started there, right next day after finishing examinations for my BA III, for a whopping Rs. 5,000 salary for a 30-45 minutes job at 7 AM, in 1999 and it was a swell office with MBAs and other hot-shots devising devious ways to stall the newspapers’ inclusion in ABC survey. The wondrous solution was to slash the price of the paper to 50 Paise so that it gets way below the ABC mandated eligibility of having minimum vendor commission of 25% or 40 Paise per copy, whichever is less!

Of our training, a major part was dedicated to explaining the ever increasing rate of publication of semi naked girls’ photos. There used to be guffaws as THEY showed us those tantalizingly titillating telephotographs of tanned tootsie in threadbare tatters and asked us to explain those as pretty harmless and de rigueur in a family setup and give an impression of somehow tolerating the really backward / low-class fashion sense of the objector! I tell you, it used to be laughing riot!

Anyway, the way these allegedly reputed media houses are behaving, giving their shitty twists and analyzing the verdict in their own lopsided T.R.P./Readership/Sentiment inflaming form is so sickening! One may expect from a local low grade newspaper to go to these depths for its pecuniary benefits. But if a widely read, pretty strong and somehow respected brand gets into suchlike, I get that deathly sick taste in the mouth where they are trying to put in a dripping Chamcham celebrating the Hindu favouring verdict.

One of the catalysts of Kurukshetra was the alleged “andhe ka putra andha” comment of Draupadi when Duryodhan/Suyodhan fell in the cleverly camouflaged indoor pond.

Don’t these monetized Editors know what it takes to spark a riot? In India and elsewhere?

If you repeatedly hear something long and often enough don’t you get into self-doubt? I do! At times. What about a Mob?

Was Mr. Bose JD or DK sucking eggs till the day before yesterday?

I do not know, anything, anymore. I am numb!

Ra.

Tech Help. You may have to click on this link multiple times, after selecting your choice on the resulting page as the site sets a cookie on your PC. Set ToI edition as Delhi in Lite version. (To Top) Please play with it if you do not get it the first time.

One Comment

  1. The Scurvy Dawg
    Posted Monday, December 5, 2016 at 10:22 | Permalink

    And you didn’t even mention how their grammar and spelling is horrible.

    Liked by 1 person


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