This is MY Original-Inspired-Pirated Stori!!!
Do not ask me why I wrote it up… The answer would be rather spitefully hurtful!
However, for a point of reference, it was written the night the second email for Bell-Canada SME and QS results came and I had a particularly heated —
i. ‘argument in the gent’s toilet’
ii. ‘confrontation in the bay to the surprise of new-hires’
with two Very Dearly Different T.L.s here in QuickBooks : respectively.
Eeshhwar Yat Karoti, Shhobhhnam Karoti!
Once upon a time, long long ago, there was a King and in his court he had a very intelligent Vizier . The Vizir, though very deeply intelligent, had this very apparently-intelligent-however-very-irritating habit of saying, “ Eeshhwar Yat Karoti, Shhobhhnam Karoti!”(Whatever God does, He does for Good!) No matter what SH¡T happened! All the Loaded Richh and the Pooor Folks, unmindful of the Zeros in their Bank Statements, used to praise the learned Vizir for his vizdom and far sight in dealing with the realities and injustices in life.
Many of the admiring Loaded Richh and the Pooor Folks tried to follow his heavenly high way of life but ended up saying, “ Teri Bhhains Ki…Aankhh/Poonchh/Whatever” (Depending upon the extent of damage/pain/cheating-by-life/whatever).
The King had a V.V.V.Kyutoo-Callously~Cruel-Cutie Daughter named BBC. (Pronounced Bebasi, Probably! I was dead of Old Age when this story happened, you see?) She was the Apple of Everyone’s Eyes and Hearts. The King doted on Her and if someone just-so thought of troubling Her, The King pinched them so hard that they died. (This Pinching part was his special Martial Art Skill…By the Way!)
One dark and stormy night, the V.V.V.Kyutoo-Callously~Cruel-Cutie Daughter was cooking very tasty saboo-daanaa (Her specialty, actually, You See?) in her kitchen, and was cold-bloddedly touched by the Hot and Ugly and Cruel karahi and her delicate and sensitive and beautiful forearm got brutally burnt. She, however, being so good that she was, did not cry out loud and went to do her ninu, sobbing silently, along with her Pink Teddy Bear who was known as Inky-Pinky-Ponky.
Now, next morning when the King was having his breakfast with his family, he saw the burnt forearm of BBC, the V.V.V.Kyutoo-Callously~Cruel-Cutie Daughter. He immediately flew off his handle and ordered the Head Hangman to hang the Karahi till it is pronounced dead! The King was very kind, but then this was a matter involving someone whom he loved just so-much to distraction. Because, as we know, we all need some point to latch on to. Some have Khhudaa, some have khhudd , and some have someone else. Khhudd is also a manifestation of The Job. These type of people have The Job as their focus as their sense of Khhudd is too big. I hope you see what I mean. Now, in the last case, where there is someone else needed, that could be there if/when the Khhudd is not strong enough! And that is when there is more of the issue. Some get lucky and find the one and that does it for them. The others keep on searching. But the King had BBC, V.V.V.Kyutoo-Callously~Cruel-Cutie Daughter. So, he ordered the Karahi to be hung from the handle – Until Dead.
Seeing the King lose his sense of reason and HOW MUCH he loved her, the V.V.V.Kyutoo-Callously~Cruel-Cutie Daughter started crying NOW and the King got angrier still!!!
He was mad with it when the very intelligent Vizier said and said it in his droney voice, “Eeshhwar Yat Karoti, Shhobhhnam Karoti !”
Now the King was very kind, but then this was a matter involving someone whom he loved just so-much to distraction.
He asked the Head Hangman to add the very intelligent Vizir to his list of the day.
The very intelligent Vizier said that once again and said it in his droney voice, “Eeshhwar Yat Karoti, Shhobhhnam Karoti !”
The King was besides himself and went to the washroom, crying and shouting, “Teri Bhhains Ki…Aankhh and banned this line in his entire kingdom.“
In spite of the very high call volumes from the Loaded Richh and the Pooor Folks, the King refused to reconsider as this was a matter involving someone whom he loved just so-much to distraction.
The Vizir, from the neck and the Karahi, from the handle, were duly and deftly dangled, till both of them were dead.
The Vizir kept on saying, you know what… “Eeshhwar Yat Karoti, Shhobhhnam Karoti!” The Karahi, strangely, was as silent as a dead Pateela.
Now as all good things come to a pass, even this one went bye. And everything was once again as Pink as the V.V.V.Kyutoo-Callously~Cruel-Cutie Daughter’s forearm was, immediately after being touched by the Karahi.
One day, the King decided to go to the neighbour, to partake his offering of Kabab-e-Murgh, and took his V.V.V.Kyutoo-Callously~Cruel-Cutie Daughter along so that he could show the Shah, a thing or two with his daughter’s Saboo-Daanaa cooking skills.
They were crossing the deep forest when SHE came to the King and smiled and said, “I want you!” The King ordered his Head Hangman to hang this one too, as she had the audacity to say such a thing in front of his V.V.V.Kyutoo-Callously~Cruel-Cutie Daughter. If only she had said it in private, the King assured everyone, I would have been able to help this one as well. But in front of the V.V.V.Kyutoo-Callously~Cruel-Cutie Daughter!!! How Embarrassing!!!
She said, “Now look here, you JackAss, I am Death’s Angel and I want You… Samjhhaa U.D.P.??? I want you dead and coming with me as I need to fulfill my A.H.T. of Royals. And I am one short. My T.L, le-legaa meri… you See???”
The King now got a bit serious and thought what would the very intelligent Vizir have done here in this Major Crisis…
Maybe drawled “Eeshhwar Yat Karoti, Shhobhhnam Karoti!” Saalaa, U.D.P., acchhaa huaa latkaa diyaa saale ko!
Then She asked him, “Where is your Vizir? Because I cannot take you without your Vizir here to take care of the Others… You see? We too have B.C.G.s that we follow.”
The King told Her the story and then She smiled again. “Wokay! No Problems, you stay, your daughter comes along!”
The King was again besides himself! But She did her Jadoo and started preparing the V.V.V.Kyutoo-Callously~Cruel-Cutie Daughter for the Eternal journey.
AND THEN……….. JUST THEN………….. SUDDENLY…
She looked at V.V.V.Kyutoo-Callously~Cruel-Cutie Daughter’s hand and cried out loud “WHAT THE F. IS THIS??? You are a BURNT Royal! How can I select the correct disposition in your case … Oh! Woe betide me! What will I tell my T.L.!!! I cannot take A Burnt Royal, You See???”
And off She went, unpausing the action!
This time, the King started crying and the BUGGER had to say…”Eeshhwar Yat Karoti, Shhobhhnam Karoti!”
That’s All Folks!
See you Later…
And did I forget to mention???
All characters and dialogues and situations and idiosyncrasies mentioned in the story are most-definitely fictitious, though they might appear suspiciously LIKE some people/words/lines/situations whom/that/which we think we know/hear/experience/enjoy/suffer in our daily/nightly lives but then the resemblance is PURELY co-incidental, just like some emails were that came to my inbox tonight!!! And all the Logos etc of all the WebPages that open, on clinking of the clickable links are the personal private property of the corporations that own them in their own big hands… For instance the one about the B.C.G.s of the Yamdoot-ni!!!
Eeshhwar Yat Karoti, Shhobhhnam Karoti!
This entry was written by Rahul Sharma and posted on Friday, July 14, 2006 at 20:48 and filed under Abuse, Creative, FromYahoo, jerk i ness, Life Goes On, Pain, Sad, Woman. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.