A Reliance Bill Collector and My Beretta 418.


My Beretta 418. Rahul.

Clink on The Lick. .

Yahoo rahul_does-beretta-418.jpg Photos

Google rahul_does-beretta-418-1.jpg s..

Trigger weight modification post is here.

He was out on his Job, collecting overdue Bills….

I was out on a roll with a bleeding nose, probably due to the oppressive heat that my room accumulates due to the east facing French-Windows. Had taken an off from my night shift and so woke up at 8 AM, instead of going to bed at this exact same time.

I woke early so thought of cleaning up the messy room.

Was deep into the dirty, dusty drudgery, so was in only my H-Shaped underwear. You know, the one that sexy male models NEVER Advertise or would be caught dead in…

I had cleaned up the Computer Table, stacked / stashed all my usable / unused-in-5-years CDs and was now into a Wills Navy Cut’s filter tipped smoke.

Bang ON!

There he was!!!

Wearing a cheaply faded cheap red shirt, at my door of the room that is on the first floor of the duplex flat that I Boss around with my own Super Ego.

Conversation:-

“Yes???”

“Gagandeep Singh Virk???”

“No, Rahul. And You???”

“Myself, Ram Parkas from Reliance.”

“And?”

“I come here to collect overdue bill of Mr. Gagandeep Singh Virk.”

“Then you will have to go to Madras as he has left this place and shifted there. However, please tell me how did you get here?”

“We keep all aadress rekord in our komputer and it tell me when I go to where to take money. And I come to Sector 56” (Smiles.)

“No, I mean, HOW did you get to this step of the stairs?”

darwaajaa khhulla thhaa, you see?” Gives me a condescending look saying, “How do you like them apples???”

Just before this Red Apparition- holding a tattered Neelkamal notepad, a crisp Printout of the Defaulter’s List, and a Tuchhu Red Pen; Cheaper and Redder than his cheaply faded cheap red shirt- appeared, Prakash, my Man-Friday had gotten into cleaning up the dust bunnies behind the Computer Table and just before that, I had oiled my Beretta. To protect it from the resulting dust storm, I had tucked it in my H‑Shaped underwear’s backside!

There IT came out- snapping the elastic of my underwear against my skin- right up to his forehead….

ab teraa sir khulegaa… Prakash, Saab ko Paani Pilaao…

The red pen went rolling down the Exact Same stairs, where Lizzy had once gone. The notepad got struck in his trembling fingers that were on the ends of his shaking hands.

“Sir, Sir, Matlab…?????????????????”

Ab Boss, tujhhe maarne se pehle paani pilaanaa to apni Bhhartiya sabhhyataa sikhhlaati hai… Hai Naa???. You are in my house and if I shoot you in the head, I am immune. I am EXONERATED!!!”

“Sir, Sir, Matlab…?????????????????”


I did not take the pains to explain to him the situation. Told him to go down and ring the bell and I would be there, shortly.

Yahoo-ed Gagandeep Singh Virk and told him about the pending bill. He called me on the cellular phone that I gave to the Shaky and wet hands- wet due to the cold water, 3 glasses, that he had GULPED IN- of Mr. Ram Parkas from Reliance.

The matter was settled on phone as Gagandeep Singh Virk had forgotten to clear this phone’s dues before leaving and presently he would have made the payment.

All this while Ram Parkas from Reliance was standing outside of my door, fervently refusing to take a chair inside…

I and Prakash still discuss if, Ram Parkas from Reliance, is still with the company or has resigned……………………………………………

Comments / Opinions…. ???

Ra.

Monday May 8, 2006 – 12:47am (IST)

P. BERETTA-Cal. 6,35 Brevettata Gardone V-T 1937-XVI

11 Comments

  1. Posted Friday, February 16, 2007 at 11:37 | Permalink

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaa…………….

    Like

  2. Shabs
    Posted Tuesday, February 20, 2007 at 07:25 | Permalink

    this is tooooooo muchhhhhhhhhhhh…..

    Like

  3. Posted Tuesday, March 20, 2007 at 11:37 | Permalink

    The Meter tells me that this is the MOST read one… So I guess I’ll post the comments that this one got from other places as well…

    Like

  4. Posted Tuesday, March 20, 2007 at 11:45 | Permalink

    Manik Pathak,(http://360.yahoo.com/profile-oHL235s8eqg1WYl5o1nRvc78) a brilliant Attorney at Law by the day and a stupendous Dell Tech Support agent by night wrote :-

    Now this incident is worth an opinion……

    what more can you expect from a person who is hovering around the NCR (in the month of May) with a list of defaulters and MOST DEFINATELY carrying his own weight in just a faint hope of nothing but added incentives that MIGHT bring his sleeves down.

    HERO factor is not that uncommon among these recovery guys, who carry a feel that they are conferred with an authority to enter anyone’s place of living without extending him a chance to be pleased of hearing the ear deafening sound of his call bell, which for that matter provides a feeling of one’s secured privacy and security of living in a society with etiquettes in a very simultaneous manner; its all about security, why we spend those 300 rupees for this device called “call bell”.

    However the feel that I was talking about hereinbefore is complementary along with a letter of job contract (which never qualifies to be an appointment letter though)

    Also, this attitude of them can largely be attributed to two common factors:-

    i) Their seniors who make them feel that this is the only way they can petrify the defaulter, just enter into his house like you are the one coming with the recovery “decree” from none other than the apex court itself*(though SC is not a trial court), at least while negotiating with the customer for any final settlement they would surely have the upper hand.

    ii) Also, the style of their lives cannot be overlooked while watching the whole incident under an analytical scanner. I mean, surely he never unembarked from a Lancer or Optra to just ram into the premises, neither was he carrying any lethal weapon unlike the story teller.

    Then what was the motivating factor, behind this, is it that he was tired of his low-life miseries, or was he just under a self guilt of the rage that he demonstrated to a set of known for the lousy morning that he had, which might have ended in a sure fatal cardiac arrest. Here I must say that you are one lucky son of a gun.

    Now what actually comes to me is that

    – Someone enters your house, without any prior intimation for such act of his;
    – You are wearing least of the clothing or having sex with your neighbor’s wife or probably your towel fell off in a failed attempt to overcome the trepidation of a sudden vision of a total stranger standing in your own bedroom.;
    – You feel that he feel comfortable in that act of ‘intrusion” Or “house trespass”.;
    – You start feeling uncomfortable in that act of ‘intrusion” Or “house trespass”;.
    – You point a magnum or for this case in hand a berretta 418 at point blank range to his forehead.;
    – He pee in the pant.;
    – And you are satisfied that he did so;

    In the conclusion of this I feel that the poor guy had to face an uncalled for treatment in the hands of a person who has seen Pulp Fiction nearly 10 times or maybe even more than that..

    Like uncle Ben said: -”with great power there come great responsibility” and this I say even while I am driving my Bullet Enfield.

    Rahul, perhaps your luck runs out the next time, I mean, what if parkas was a person above 130 Kgs of weight, what if he was having a police record of 5 murders while he was a juvenile and was out on parole or something like that, what if he was someone with a strong sense of retribution vested in him, what if….., what if……

    STOP flaunting your weapon at this rate, since prima facie both of you have committed non-bailable offence, but yours is a serious one, just don’t land yourself in trouble for the reason of being the proud owner of a world war II souvenir, then it would be a little too much for carrying a heirloom

    Killing someone who dares to hit you with his bare hands can never invoke the principle of self defense. ………. Manik Pathak

    Monday May 15, 2006 – 08:39pm (PDT)

    Like

  5. Posted Tuesday, March 20, 2007 at 11:48 | Permalink

    Dr. Ashar Ata, my BESTEST friend since December 1979, (we were 4 then and it was love at first sight:-P) wrote:-

    I like Manik’s comment/advice. But I could not help laughing my intestines out while reading this post. However, on second thought what Manik said is very important. While any other fellow-indian of our genre and type and background could dismiss manik’s comments by saying “Abay kuch nahi hota..faltu dara raha hai”. But the reality is would only take a jerk looking like Ram Prakas to come to his door next time carrying a desi katta to give this story a not so happy twist. So Rahul, be careful with your ammo.. Like Manik said, to keep it you have obey the rules otherwise that “emotional adolescnce” comment might begin to becoming true.

    Wednesday May 17, 2006 – 01:02pm (CDT)

    Like

  6. Po.
    Posted Sunday, May 20, 2007 at 03:40 | Permalink

    hehehe

    Like

  7. ZsaZaa
    Posted Thursday, May 24, 2007 at 21:51 | Permalink

    Caveat !!!

    Like

  8. Posted Friday, August 15, 2008 at 19:59 | Permalink

    Check this post out. This one is replete with encyclopedic knowledge about guns and all things related and also features the top picture… :-D

    Also, another bit of stories, here.

    Like

  9. Posted Friday, May 29, 2009 at 00:54 | Permalink

    Where did you get those wood grips for that Beretta 418. I want to get some for my 418. Let me know ok?

    Like

    • Posted Tuesday, June 2, 2009 at 06:14 | Permalink

      Hello Ed.

      Thanks for dropping by. A friend of mine made those for me. These were a hurried, custom job. Now this one sports new grips and they too were made by the same friend in India.

      Please tell me if you need his contact information.

      The latest grips are Link in New

      Like

  10. Betsy Cheatham
    Posted Friday, June 4, 2010 at 16:24 | Permalink

    I’m enjoying your blog!!!

    Remind me never to come to your door wearing a cheap red shirt!

    :-) I am sure you shan’t, Farmer Girl!

    Like


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